Lauren Spierer---From One Mother to Another to All of You

First of all, I apparently won't be winning the award for "Most Prolific Blogger" anytime soon, but if there was ever a reason for a new post this is it.

I'm imagining that you all know who Lauren Spierer is by now. She is the 20yr old IU student that went missing June 3rd after leaving a bar with friends. I have been captivated by the news reports surrounding the search for her, ached as I watched her parents appear at news conferences, and prayed for her and her family nightly.

While I drive around the Hoosier state daily for my job, yesterday was my first trip to Bloomington since Lauren went missing. I was immediately struck by how intense it felt there. There are signs, billboards, and flyers EVERYWHERE. You can't miss them. All with the same message "Anything Small Could Be Big...SPEAK UP!" and her picture. I found myself consumed with thoughts of "Where could she be?" frantically looking around the landscape.

I stopped to pick up some lunch for a friend and myself at Scholars Bakehouse on College Ave. As I stood waiting for my carryout order, I noticed a tiny older woman with a humongous cake box. She wore skinny jeans, converse sneakers, and several bracelets. I knew who she was instantly. A glance down at one of the bracelets confirmed this. There, spelled out in little beads, it said L-A-U-R-E-N. It was Charlene Spierer, Lauren's mom. I commented on the size of the box, and then sheepishly said...."Are you Lauren's mom?" " She nodded with exhaustion and sadness in her eyes. My eyes welled with tears. I told her I prayed for them nightly; how as a mother, it broke my heart. I gave her my impression I noted above about the atmosphere. She said she knew exactly what I meant. Her own father had wanted to come from New York for support, and she told him not to come because it is so much more intense in Bloomington and hard to take than just watching it on TV and getting updates from them. She asked my about my own kids and what I did for a living. The Bloomington Fire Department had invited them to dinner and she was taking the cake to them for the evening. "I hope they like it. They've done so much for us." Her graciousness floored me. We both got our order and went our separate ways.

I see this through so many angles. The picture on the poster of a blond, tan college coed...It wasn't that long ago that I was that girl with the whole world ahead of her, making some reckless decisions along the way. As a friend or loved one, I know I would never be able to rest until she was found. The endless fundraisers, retweets on Twitter, posts on Facebook...This is social media's best asset and it's time to shine. The Spierers have adopted Bloomington as home. How could they not? How could they go home without their child? Impossible. They are truly in so many ways in limbo. Holding out hope...desperate for closure and answers. As a mother, I cannot imagine what she is going through. While I would love for a miracle to occur, for them to find her alive and okay, I felt like I was speaking as I would to someone at a funeral. Measuring my words for someone who has endured a great loss. A loss I cannot comprehend....it takes my breath away to even try. It's been 42 days...42 days...look at your child and try to wrap your mind around that. It is utterly heartbreaking. I will continue to pray for them and hope you do the same. I am also posting this blog as another way to get the word out. To keep Lauren's name alive. Like the posters say "Anything Small Could Be Big...SPEAK UP!"

Want to do more? Here is a link to the @NewsOnLaurenS Twitter Feed with 25 Ways You Can Keep Helping the Search to Find Lauren:

http://newsonlaurens.blogspot.com/2011/07/so-you-want-to-help.html

I would love for you to forward my posts to others. Help get the word out. Help #FindLauren. Never Give Up Hope.

Happy Easter

Hope this finds you with a "He is Risen" glow topped off with a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg semi-coma. I thoroughly enjoyed my long awaited Diet Coke and Facebook checking this morning before our brunch reservations. Since the weather here in the Midwest is more biblically reminiscent of Noah and his Ark, we changed out of our Sunday best and into warmer clothes for the big Egg Hunt. No skin off Sugar Girl's nose.....any excuse to wear a cute pair of rain boots (totally her mother's daughter). In a brief flash moment of preparedness, I remembered last night that I had bought eggs at Target last year on clearance. This discovery was made even better by the fact I remembered before Easter was actually here. It would have been SO me to have discovered those in July. Extra bonus....the eggs were prefilled with candy. Given the inclimate weather, the Thinker wisely hid these outside rather than the dyed ones. Leaving us with a bumper crop of hard boiled eggs. What makes me think every year that dying 2 dozen eggs is a great idea? I am not a fan, but the Thinker is, leaving me to wonder what side of the egg fence Sugar Girl would fall. After first being disappointed that it was not pink all the way through, she then pointed to the yolk and said, "I don't like the cheese that's in this." Score one for me! And yes, I am keeping score of her traits. When your kid looks nothing like you, you grasp a hold of things like a distaste for hard boiled eggs. Tune in again in a couple of years for The Bubbler to vote on this. He spent most of the Easter festivities asleep or happily watching from his bouncy seat.

Another big accomplishment: we actually made it to the 8am mass. We are usually Saturday night mass people, due to our family-wide dislike of all things morning and the fact that it typically takes us 9 hours to get ready to leave the house. But somehow we made it. And while we were in the folding chairs along the outside rows of pews, at least we weren't like those slackers watching mass on the TV set up in the narthex. ;-) In yet another Easter miracle, a ton of people showed up early for the 9:30 service and were gathered in the narthex, making for a bit of a traffic jam when our service ended. Those who were grumbling at this need not worry, because Lord knows the people at our church will probably never be early again and will go back next week to showing up sometime between the opening hymn and the homily. Bless our hearts....

I love how my daughter is very interested in all things church. She once thought our priest was Jesus because when we went to get communion, I told her we were going to see Jesus. Oh yeah and by the way, I didn't drop the wafer again. No need for a 5-second rule on the Body of Christ this year. Today, she asked my why Jesus was draped in a white cloth (OK, not exactly like that). I told her that at Easter we celebrate the day Jesus went to heaven. She thought about it and whispered in my ear, "Mom, Easter is the best." This coming from a girl who's all important birthday was the very next day.

I couldn't agree more. honey. I couldn't agree more.

Welcome!

If you're reading this and you know me, you might be thinking a couple of things:

1. Ummmm doesn't she have enough on her plate? Didn't she just go back to work after maternity leave from baby #2? How is this even on her priority list? Shouldn't she be cleaning her house? Or interacting with her husband?



2. Sweet, she usually has great posts on facebook. It will be interesting to see what she cooks up here.

How do I know this? Because I am thinking the same things. I have never had more on my plate but at the same time, this gives me more and more to share with people. Sure, I could keep this to myself, where's the fun in that? And who really wants to be cleaning their house at ten o'clock on a Saturday night? So, while some might say quit while you're ahead, I prefer no rest for the weary, or even better yet, when the going gets tough, the tough get going (after they get another cup of coffee).

First things first....why the name? One of the interests I plan on sharing with you is my love of all things food related. While am I becoming a pretty formidable cook, I am still a pretty sub-par baker. I am not being modest. I once made a cheesecake that tasted like meat (I'll tell you the story sometime). Why the disconnect? I think it all boils down to how you approach cooking versus baking. Baking is a science. Exact measurements will make or break a recipe. Cooking is an art. There is some play to the recipe. And at the end of the day, while it would sometimes be more convenient to have an algorithm of an ideal life, that wouldn't be much of a life at all. All the substitutions/deviations from the plan are what make life fun and exciting and if we look hard enough, are where the true blessings are found. So, instead of a checklist life, always looking for the next best thing, I now revel in a life beyond measure. Feeling content in knowing that while I may not always have an exact plan of what to do, there's no where else I'd rather be. Still always trying to be the best me I can be, figuring out the recipe as I go.

So that's that. I've been stressing about make this "live" for all the world to read, but am taking the plunge. Hopefully you've had your interest peaked and we will get through this crazy thing called life together.

Over and Out,

Amber